** JANUARY, 2006 **

The Back Pew

St. John’s Christian Education Newsletter

January, 2006

Editor: Shirley Mustard, Christian Education Coordinator

Teaching Children Peace*

            Every Sunday Fr. Tom reaches a place in the service where he says to us, “The peace of the Lord be always with you,” to which we at St. John’s respond, “And also with you.” Then we turn to one another and exchange peaceful greetings, such as “Peace be with you,” or “The peace of the Lord,” or maybe just simply, “Peace” as we shake hands or even hug. Why do we do this? It is as a sign of our intentions to lead peaceful lives following the example of our Christ. We also do this to prepare ourselves for what is to come, to get ourselves in a place that is right for receiving Christ.

            But what do we do day to day to make sure our message of peace is conveyed to everyone we meet, and especially our children? How do we respond to and interact with other to increase the likelihood that we will experience peaceful encounters?

            Unfortunately we live in a culture that does not necessarily promote kindness, consideration, respectfulness, and peacefulness in our daily lives. So, what can we do to promote peace in our lives and the lives of those around us?

            BE AN AFFIRMING FAMILY. An affirming family demonstrates respect for individual differences of all members and encourages both a sense of belonging and a spirit of cooperation. The home is a pleasant environment where members want to be.

            PRACTICE PEACEFUL COMMUNICATION AND SEEK PEACEFUL SOLUTIONS TO CONFLICT. Listen carefully not only to what other say but what you say. Take responsibility for whatever part you may have played in starting or continuing an argument.  Apologize if you have said or done something that has caused another pain.

Remember to include all family members in the peace process where there is conflict. Speak and behave in ways that promote self-esteem.

            PRACTICE PEACE-COMPATIBLE DISCIPLINE. Adopt a preventive approach to discipline. Parents can make behaving and cooperation more desirable than misbehaving by expressing appreciation when good behavior occurs. People tend to respond much more favorably to fans than to critics. Our children do not have to be made to feel worse in order to behave better.  

            CHOOSE PEACEFUL FORMS OF ENTERTAINMENT. Pay close attention to the messages your children are getting about relationships, conflict, violence, and peace from television, movies, toys, video games, music, and literature.  When the messages they are getting go against the values you are trying to teach, speak up! Take advantage of these opportunities to explain why the way a situation was handled was unacceptable.  Engage in dialogue about how the situation could have been dealt with in a more peaceful manner.

            There is a wonderful son that tells us, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”  I wonder what would happen if we greeted people with “Peace be with you,” instead of, “Hello, how are you?” Would it put us and them in a more peaceful frame of mind? I wonder.

            And if you should observe me speaking or behaving in a less than peaceful manner, take me by the hand, look me in the eye, and gently remind me, “Peace be with you.”  And also with you.   

Shirley Mustard, Christian Formation Coordinator 

*  Primary resources for this article - Raising Peaceful Children in a Violent World by Nancy Lee Cecil and Carolyn C. Waterbury-Tieman, an Episcopalian, who is a parent educator and family therapist.

Another “Best Christmas Pageant Ever”

            On behalf of the Christian Formation Committee, I would like to extend a very special thank you to everyone who gave of their time and talents for this year’s Christmas pageant, “A Journey to Bethlehem.” Having our own in-house drama coach, Dana Tickle, certainly brought about this bigger than usual undertaking which included children, youth, and adults. Hats off to all of our actors, musicians, set designer (Langley Weber), costumers (our moms) and anyone one else who made this possible. As one parishioner remarked to me, “The pageant is my favorite service” and without all of you this would not happen for any of us.