Dear People of St. John’s,
Garrison Keillor,
of Lake Wobegon and A Prairie Home Companion
fame, is also a member of the Episcopal Church. I believe he has told about
his early religious training in the Sanctified Brethren Church. It seems he
has learned about the Episcopal Church with rare insight and humor. Keillor
wrote the following in an essay:
“Episcopalians, who
love to sing in four-part harmony, are the sort of people you could call up
when you’re in deep distress. If you are dying, they will comfort you. If
you are lonely, they’ll talk to you. And if you are hungry, they’ll give
you tuna salad!
Episcopalians
believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud.
Episcopalians like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn
with more than four stanzas.
Episcopalians
believe their rectors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don’t
notify them that they are there.
Episcopalians
usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of
suffering for their sins.
Episcopalians
believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their
stewardship drives or when passing the plate.
Episcopalians feel
that applauding for their children’s choirs will not make the kids too proud
and conceited.
Episcopalians think
that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.
Episcopalians are
willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.
Episcopalians still
serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and Episcopalians
believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves
too seriously.
And finally, you
know you are an Episcopalian when:
*It’s 100 degrees,
90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service.
*You hear something
really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can.
*Donuts are a line
item in the church budget, just like coffee.
*When you watch a
Star Wars movie and they say, ‘May the Force be with you,’ and
you respond, ‘and
also with you.’
*And lastly, it
takes 10 minutes to say good-bye.”
I would say Mr.
Keillor has been in the Episcopal Church long enough to have learned a thing
or two. But, I would also like to say that St. John’s does not fit neatly
in all of those stereotypic descriptions.
Yes, we have
outstanding lay pastors, who reach out to the hurting, distressed, and
lonely; not because of some external expectation but because they take their
baptismal vows seriously.
Most of the time,
you do a great job of letting me know about hospital stays and upcoming
surgeries. Some of you could do a better job of that.
We have witnessed
some miracles in and around this place. I’m pleased with the growth in our
stewardship and that more and more of you have come to understand that the
miracle begins in the heart and mind before it reaches the billfold,
pocketbook, or checkbook.
We do applaud
without reservation when our little ones and our young people minister to us
in song and drama. We don’t grumble too much when asked to sing a new hymn
or a new setting to the service music. I have even seen a few people cross
the aisle when extending God’s peace to a worshipping neighbor.
We don’t seem to
mind as much these days in shelling out much more than a dollar for a
delicious meal in the parish hall and we support the ministries of our Youth
Group. We do love the shade tree out front during the “Lemonade on the
Lawn” summer months and refrain from serving coffee. And I have heard some
of you laugh out loud when the rector digs extra deep and finds just the
right one for the “loosening up joke.”
Of course, it does
take us much longer than 10 minutes to say goodbye after coffee hours. But,
I think that is lovely.
No, this is not the
typical Episcopal parish. For that I am deeply grateful. I wouldn’t be
able to tolerate it if we were easily categorized. So, continue to “subvert
the prevailing paradigm.”
Peace,
Tom
